


The Countdown to the Hallowed Night

by m0rkl



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Countdown to Hallow, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:14:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7334560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m0rkl/pseuds/m0rkl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've waited years for this. Finally our beloved returns.</p><p>Countdown to D.Grayman:Hallow</p><p>Day 1: Deception / Abilities / Innocence / Illusion<br/>Day 2: Persecution / Black Order / Noah Clan / Beliefs<br/>Day 3: Famine / Favourite Food / Allen’s Day<br/>Day 4: Death / Last Words / Goodbyes<br/>Day 5: Martyrology / Sacrifice / Resolution<br/>Day 6: Tribulation / Sad Moments / Emotions</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Day 1: **Deception** / Abilities / Innocence / Illusion

 

 

            When Allen had woken up from his catatonic state, a tiny flame was lit in his eyes. After a month of nothing but blank terror on his face, that pathetic flickering light in his eyes was enough to make Cross sigh with relief. Now he could prepare to deal with this fiery child, even if he wasn't the same Allen he once knew. He left the room and stood in the hall for a smoke as he wondered just how exactly Allen had managed to de-age himself. Or become compatible with innocence for that matter.

 

            Last he knew, Allen Walker was a cranky, but fiery man training to be the next Bookman. He wasn't some dirty stray and he certainly was not an accommodator. But that was over thirty years ago. He hadn't expected everything to go smoothly, but this was nowhere near his ideas of what he expected to go wrong. There had been a plan in place, but everything had to get fucked up and now everything had to be rearranged.

 

            Cross grumbled to himself, dropping his cigarette and stomping it out. Mother would yell at him for that. Regardless, it was time he went back into the room to face the wrench that had been thrown in their plan.

 

            He went in, ready to dodge something thrown at his head, prepared for high pitched angry screams. He was ready for whatever questions the kid would throw at him. But he wasn't ready for this.

 

            "Hello sir. Have you been the one taking care of me?" Glassy empty eyes stared at him with a forced smile to match. The image of Mana, driven out of his mind with grief surfaced in Cross' head. The boy smiled like the painted mouth of an clown. He felt sick. "Sir?" A small voice brought Cross back to the moment.

 

            "What's your name kid?" He couldn't stop seeing Mana in the boy's face. Not the Campbell he was expecting.

 

            "My name is Allen." Cross turned on his heels to leave. He needed air. "I'm grateful, you know!" The general paused. "Thank you for taking care of me, mister. You're very kind."

 

            Snorting, Cross didn't even try to contain his laughter. "That... is where you are really fucking wrong, kid." He slammed the door, leaving the confused boy to himself. Down in the kitchen, Mother was settled at the table, halfway through a bottle of port.

 

            "Well?" She could tell something had happened. Rarely did Cross leave the boy's room without coming down to complain about having to clean some piss stained sheets or how the boy smelled god awful.

 

            "He's awake."

 

            "That's great!" Raising her glass, Mother gave a tipsy grin.

"Finally so--"

 

            "He's speaking like Mana." Cross wasn't much in the mood for celebrating. He snatched the wine bottle off the table and took a long drink in hopes of dulling the uneasy feeling growing in his stomach. The situation had to be dealt with, but for now, he just wanted to drown it all in a shit ton of decent wine.

 

            Later on, less than a month into traveling with Allen, Cross began to despise the child. He thought it was disgusting how he went around with that nervous smile and polite disposition. It was fake and shallow, but they never stayed in one place long enough for anyone to notice. But Cross noticed.

 

            Cross always noticed.

 


	2. Day 2: Persecution / Black Order / Noah Clan / Beliefs

 

 

 

            In the stagnant darkness of his cell, Allen leaned against the wall. The cold stone sapped the warmth from his back, but he no longer had the energy to shiver. He had been there for just under a week, but it felt like longer. Between the interrogations, the solitude and the untreated stab wound in his side, Allen's days blurred together. He tried to sleep but it was never restful. He only got maybe an hour at a time before a nightmare woke him up. That or some faceless CROW setting up for yet another interrogation.

 

            Hunger scratched at his stomach like a creature with claws. He hadn't eaten in days. The only thing he accepted was water, which he could easily detect if it had been drugged. Food could be easily laced with something mild enough in flavor that the food would conceal it. Being a parasitic type meant he needed far more energy than the average human. Without the food he needed, he could feel his innocence stealing from the rest of his body. It was getting difficult for him to think straight, so he just stayed silent. No matter how hard they hit him, no matter what they threatened him with, he wouldn't divulge the location of the thirds.

 

            The Order, the people who were supposed to be his allies, had betrayed him, but he would not betray his comrades. He refused to become the traitor everyone was anticipating. How could he when for the first time in his life, he had felt like he had a place where people actually wanted him?

 

            Over the past week, he had received visits mostly from CROWs, but Leverier showed his sneering face more than once. Aside from them, Link had come in. Of course, each time he had been accompanied by at least two others. The second day of Allen's imprisonment, Link came bearing a tray of food, but refused to take it. Allen didn't even acknowledge the man. A brief look of hurt had flashed over the man's face, but Allen knew this was for the better. He knew they were testing him, they wanted see what they could use for leverage.

 

            He couldn't let anyone know he had any trust in Link. The higher ups would use to their advantage and that spelled doom for the blonde man. Besides, he didn't even know if he could trust Link anymore. He didn't know where exactly the man stood. Perhaps he thought Allen was a traitor too. Nothing was clear anymore. He didn't know if he could continue to side with the Order, but he wasn't about to go joining the Earl any time soon either.

 

            Where did his loyalty lie? Did he keep his promise to Mana? A man who may not have ever cared about him? He was an exorcist, no doubt, but the Order was no longer a place he could call home--- not that he really wanted to after seeing what they did to the second and third exorcists. Not after everything with Alma.

 

 

            In the dark emptiness of his cell, Allen let his mask slip off. It didn't matter anymore if anyone saw this side of him. They would get nothing out of it. The only thing under that mask right now was a dead emptiness that ran so deep Allen wondered what was really left of him.

 

 

 

 


	3. Day 3: Famine

Day 3: _**Famine** / Favourite Food / Allen’s Day_  

 

            Jeryy is not a warrior. He's not a finder. He's not an exorcist. He has almost nothing to do with the church. Jerry is a chef, nothing less, and nothing more. But his position holds far more importance and power than most people realize.

            He knows part of everyone's story, even if they never speak to him unless they're ordering food. The way people eat can tell a lot about them. Lenalee for instance, eats slowly and thoughtfully. She eats like any meal could be her last. Each meal is a privilege to her and she refuses to treat it like anything but. Her diet is balanced perfectly for her lifestyle like someone who grew up being trained for nothing but combat. She was ten when Jeryy introduced her to the joys of chocolate cake.

            Kanda doesn't seem to care much about what he eats. He picked a food that worked for him and even as a young adult sticks to it. Soba is just a part of his routine, which he eats slowly and in concentrated bites like someone clinging to a constant. It's the same as when he meditates. In times of war, trapped in a place he despises, Kanda cherishes his moments of free will and serenity, not that he would ever admit to it.

            Lavi eats quickly messily, but the chef suspects its all a part of his persona. Jeryy has watched the Junior Bookman grow into the skin of Lavi to the point where it fits comfortably. If he hadn't been around when the boy was still trying to form the persona, he wouldn't have known. On a few rare occasions, he's seeing the Bookman and his apprentice discuss something in their own secret language. At those times, Lavi vanishes and what's left is a cold analytical vessel for information. It makes Jerry a bit sad so he does what he can to encourage Lavi's flamboyant behavior. He seems more comfortable that way.

            Those in the science department eat hastily and always while on the job. They eat as though they have no time to lose. Because they don't. This war is relentless so they too must be. Finders eat every meal with great appreciation. They know their lives are insignificant in this war. They know that each mission could very easily be their last. They aren't exorcists. They, like Jeryy, don't have the crystal of god on their side.

            And then there's Allen. He plays the part of the perfect gentleman, and he plays it well. However, there are some things that give away the fact that he was not brought up in the sort of nobility his polite disposition might suggest. The animalistic way he eats, shoving down everything he can speaks of the lingering fear that his meal might be stolen away at any moment. The manners he usually upholds dissolve the moment food is put in front of him. He holds his utensils in a rough, backhanded grip and he has no qualms about using his hands. Mess is no concern to him, especially because he doesn't dare let a speck of food go to waste. He can see the echoes of a life of poverty and not knowing when or if he will be able to eat again.

            Jeryy knows hunger. He remembers his childhood, grateful for each mouthful because he knew how hard his mother worked for it and even then there sometimes just wasn't enough. The fear of not knowing where his next meal might come from was what drove him to become a chef. People tend to underestimate the power of food. He knows what hunger can drive people to do. 

            Most people find Allen's obsession with food to be comical and Allen lets them laugh. Its easier than letting anyone know why he is the way he is. But Jeryy knows. He can see the hunger haunting Allen's actions. He understands.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make a part two... or I'll save it for another day I'm not sure yet


	4. Day 4: Death / Last Words / Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: Death / Last Words / Goodbyes

            Allen was never much one for 'goodbye's. Leaving someone you cared about was never happy and leaving someone you hated never warranted a goodbye. As much as he loathed comparing himself to his master, he really did prefer the man's way of leaving. The easiest way to go was abruptly, in the middle of the night and without warning. That way there was no one trying to convince you to stay or trying to get something out of you before you left.

 

            Of course, some cases were different. They said goodbye to Mother because they had the intention to return if they needed to to. Cross feigned goodbyes at some brothels in order to get a free night. Allen tried that once so he could have a place to stay for the night, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth so he never tried it again. So Allen doesn’t say goodbye. He says things like, “until we meet again” and “I’m off” but never goodbye. He didn’t say goodbye to Lala and Guzol. He didn’t say goodbye to his master. He didn’t say goodbye to Kanda and Alma.

 

            He never said goodbye to Mana.

            When he fled the Order, he had no intention of saying goodbye. Why should give his regards to a place that clearly did not want him? But then Lenalee appeared. Hurt was reflected in her every movement and her eyes cried 'why?'. This was the real reason Allen hated 'goodbye's. The girl's emotions assaulted him, making his smile all the more difficult to force. He didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to run away from the place he had finally grown to call home. It was all so painful. Tyki and Road made had botched any of his plans to leave quietly, but he had wanted so badly to escape without running into anyone. He hated saying goodbye. He hated the finality that it implied.

 

            That's why he's on his own now. For a short time, he stayed with Mother, but only long enough to get himself into up and running again. Once his injuries healed enough for him to move freely, he left abruptly and silently, just like his master had taught him. He knows Mother saw him, but she understood why he left in such a way. She always seemed to understand.

 

            When he spots Kanda and Johnny, he wants to make a break for it. He has no intention of sticking around long enough to warrant a goodbye. If he's lucky, he can escape before they notice him. Allen has never been the lucky type.

 

            They pin him down and each time he tries to escape they catch him. They don’t understand why he doesn’t want to be around them, why he can’t be around them. With Neah threatening to take control, he’s a danger to everyone around him. There is nothing he can do but leave them all behind. He has to say goodbye so he doesn’t continue dragging them through the mud.

 

            If there’s anyone he wants to say goodbye to now, its Mana. He never got to say goodbye to his father—not when he died, and not after attacking him with innocence. Allen clung to Mana after his dead. He held on to everything he could, even exchanging his own personality for his father’s. The man’s final words became his life mission, to never stop walking. It might have gotten Allen far in life, but now he feel uncertain about those words. Were they really directed at him, or...?

 

            He might never know and after everything his life has come to, he can’t force himself to let go of Mana. Part of him thinks he should be able to. After all, the man might not have even loved him, but he just can’t. Not after dedicating years of his life to following the man’s final words.

 

            All he wants is to be able to let go of his dark and cloudy past that has been knocked out of its solid place by the truth his Master gave. It’s the only instance where he wants the finality and closure. It’s the first time he isn’t afraid of saying goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit late but at least I got something out right? ^^'


	5. Day 5: Martyrology / Sacrifice / Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Martyrology / Sacrifice / Resolution

 

 

            When they first met, Kanda hated Allen for a multitude of reasons. First off, he thought the white haired boy was an akuma. That’s what the gatekeeper had implied afterall. And then he was made aware of Allen’s curse. He hated him for that too. The curse itself wasn’t what pissed him off though, Kanda had a curse of his own. What pissed him off was how Allen wasn’t angry or bitter about it. The boy had obviously gone through some kind of hell in his life, Kanda could tell that much. You don’t premature what hair and a curse scar from picking daisies that’s for sure.

            But Allen didn’t seem after about his fate and it makes Kanda want to stab him in the throat. He doesn’t, but the urge doesn’t subside by the time they go on their first mission together. Before the mission, he had seen Allen smile and immediately he could tell it was forced. And despite that, his fucking smile shone bright than the lights in the room. Kanda is reminded of _him_ and he despises Allen for that. But during their mission, he realizes that Allen is nothing like that person. His smile was pure despite the shitty situation they were in. Allen’s smile is nothing but a façade, nothing but a mask to hide... something. He didn’t know entirely what was yet and it only served to make him hate the boy more. He hated him for letting Lala and Guzol have their final moments together. It only ended up making things worse on himself.

            He hated Allen for being soft in a war where people needed to hardest their hearts in order to survive.

            Over time, things began to change. Kanda still hated the moyashi and his stupid painted grin. But now he knew how to prod and aggravate the boy enough to make his mask slip. Their petty fights seemed to be the only time Allen allowed anyone a glimpse under his mask. Rage was a difficult emotion to control, Kanda knew that well.

            Before the events in Edo, not once did Kanda wonder what Allen thought of him. He didn’t care and it didn’t matter. But then as they stood in the arc, facing the Noah Skin Bolic, he looked Allen in the eye and told him to go. For the first time, he wondered if Allen really knew what he meant by this. Did Allen think that Kanda didn’t intend to make it out alive? Did he think Kanda was doing this because they were friends? Kanda wasn’t sure why he even cared, but the thoughts crossed his mind and they couldn’t be erased.

            So he didn’t entirely hate Allen. He hated him in the same way he hated Lavi and his brash behavior or Komui and his sister complex. It was the things they did that pissed him off, not the people. The only thing he cared enough to truly despise was the Order as a whole. He hated them for what they did behind closed doors all while claim to be the good side.

            There were no good sides to a war, just the winning and losing sides.

            When the level 4 attacked HQ, for the first time in a long while, he felt helpless. But the feeling quickly subsided. Without his innocence, he couldn’t defeat the akuma, but he could still fight. He stood beside Allen, helping the broken boy drive his sword against the level 4’s attack. Kanda watched as Clown Crown forced its half dead accommodator to fight. In that moment, he was reminded of how much he hated innocence.

            On their mission in France, Kanda stood on level ground with Allen. They fought well and defeated the level 4, but there were more costs than people knew. Allen turn is sword of exorcism on himself because he believed that he wasn’t going to be effected by it. He believed that despite everything, he wasn’t evil therefor the sword wouldn’t hurt him. But it did. He screamed in total agony. It wasn’t just the physical pain that elicited that sound. It as the horror and shame that came with the realization that he might contain the same evil that he devoted his life to fighting. Kanda saw something on Allen’s face after that. There was something that he didn’t recognize and for a moment, he wondered if that’s who Allen really was under his mask. But Kanda knew Allen better than that. The face that person made was cold and unfeeling. It was a face Allen could never make. It had to be the 14th.

            Yet, because of his hatred for the Order, he said nothing. He left that problem to fester because he had no regard for what happened to the Order.

            And then there was Alma. The Noah pulled a card they knew would cause the Order to self-destruct. They wanted Allen to be disillusioned completely and turn on the Order, but that didn’t happen. Allen fought for Kanda and Alma’s sake. He did everything in his power to give them a moment of peace and solidarity. Why had he done that? Kanda didn’t know what drove Allen to sacrifice his loyalty to the Order just to allow Kanda to have his last moments with Alma alone.

            Now everything was fucked up. He hated the Order and he hated innocence. He hated the Noah and the akuma and this whole god forsaken war... but he didn’t hate Allen. He hated the boy’s matyr complex and the way he smiled even though he knew things were going to shit, but he didn’t hate Allen. It was Kanda who triggered the 14th’s awakening. Kanda was the reason Allen no longer had a place he could call home. Guilt overcame him and Kanda realized that he wouldn’t be able to go out in peace knowing that Allen Walker sacrificed his freedom for him. He couldn’t let this end with Allen left alone, abandon and betrayed by everything he ever cared about.

            So he would fight for this third side. He would take back the innocence he hated so much and he would fight for Allen the way he had fought for Kanda. It wasn’t as though Kanda had ever been loyal to the Order’s side to begin with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a bit of a word vomit. I just wanted to get something written so I let myself ramble ^^'


	6. Day 6: Tribulation / Sad Moments / Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Tribulation / Sad Moments / Emotions

 

            Cross had never been the emotional type. Maybe in his younger days he was, but he learned quickly to stow it all away. It was the only way to survive. Of course there’s only so much you can pack down before it starts rearing its ugly head again. That’s why he became an alcoholic.

            When Allen became his apprentice, he didn’t give a second thought to his emotions. They got buried under bottles of wine, both expensive and cheap. And of course it wasn’t always wine. There was scotch and brandy and whiskey and vodka and whatever drinks were local to where they were.

            He drank because it made it easier not to think about all the shit that was going on. If he was drunk, he didn’t have to think about the fact that he was toting around the reanimated corpse of his fiancé. He didn’t have to think about Neah’s fucked up plan that some how got even more fucked up along the way and he didn’t have to think about how the Order was on his ass about... well, everything.

            Being drunk made it easier to look at this sad, broken child at his heels. This boy who so desperately wanted someone to love him and help him carry the huge burden that lay on his shoulders. Cross couldn’t be that person, even if he wanted to. Being drunk made it easier to accept the fact that he thoroughly fucked up his apprentice in a hundred different ways, when he could have actually helped the kid sort out some of his problems. He drank to wash away the guilt of all that too.

            At this point, Cross believes he may have spent more of his life intoxicated than he did sober. After all, he was far older than he looked.

            But as he stands in this dark room, surrounded by CROWs and far more security precautions than were necessary, he’s completely sober. Honestly, did they think Allen was going to attack him or something? If central thought this was to end in a battle, they would have taken Judgment from him and put him in bindings too. But no, it’s only Allen covered in seals making his arm near impossible to move.

            Just looking at his apprentice, dressed in prison clothes and bound like they’ve already condemned him to the fate of a traitor, makes him yearn for something strong to drink. But this needs to be done with a clear head. Yes, he had a glass of wine beforehand, but it’s not even enough to ease his nerves.

            “Mana....” Cross is a bit surprised that Allen is the one to speak first, but then again, his apprentice has become a bit more like his old self in the past year or so. “He had some sort of connection to the 14th, didn’t he?”

            And then the general begins to reveal the truth, well parts of it. He can’t give it all away with central listening in on their every word. He talks about how Mana and Neah were brothers and how Mana was the only one by Neah’s side until the moment he betrayed the Earl. He chooses his words carefully. Central can’t know who the Earl really was. They can’t know who Mana and Neah really were. He’s remembering the stiff look on the face of someone he left out of the story when he notices the Bookman Junior, leaning against the wall. Bookman is nowhere to be found and Cross has to keep himself from laughing.

            He wants Lavi to have this record in the way the Order will know it, the censored version. Bookman knows Cross will be omitting details, but if he isn’t there, he doesn’t have to record that fact. The old man must be getting soft in his age.

            He continues his talk with Allen. Everything he says, he says with the intention of eliciting the most emotion possible from his apprentice. Cross wants everyone watching to see the shock, the devastation and the grief plain on Allen’s face. He wants them to know that this boy had no idea what was coming for him. Central has to know as much of the truth as he can tell them without screwing up their plan.

            He calls Allen unlucky and that’s the goddamned truth. But it wasn’t as though Allen had been chosen as the 14th’s host at random. Cross wasn’t there when it happened so he doesn’t know the explicit details of how it happened, but he tells Allen that the 14th probably didn’t have the time to dwell on “when” or “who”. Allen thinks

            The look on Allen’s face when he asked if Mana ever really loved him is enough to make Cross want to drown himself in whatever alcohol he could find. He was never supposed to get this attached. He hadn’t intended to. It was one of the reasons he let himself succumb to alcoholism. And yet he kneels down next to his apprentice and pulls the boy’s head into his shoulder. He could see Allen’s heart shatter. It hurt to see his apprentice in this much pain. Is this what Tiedoll felt like? God, how awful. He wonders if, in the end, you always have to sacrifice something in order to protect something else.

            Cross looks straight ahead and whispers something to Allen, despite knowing that Central will be able to pick it up with their equipment. The junior Bookman will have a good view of Allen’s reaction, but most of the CROW won’t.

            “What would you do if I told you, that you will have to kill someone you love when you become the 14th?” The questions twists around the truth, redirecting everyone’s idea and theories of what exactly is going on here. Cross knows this will fuck Allen up. Guilt fills his chest and he desperately wants to get out of here.

            The CROW have to restrain Allen as he starts screaming at Cross. He demands an explanation that Cross can’t give him. Not now. Before he exits, he stops, not bothering to turn and face his apprentice.

            “There’s another side to this war. Don’t die before its over this time.” He doesn’t really know who he’s saying it to in that moment. Neah? His apprentice? Or?

            It doesn’t matter. He’s going to get himself several bottles of wine and let himself forget even if for only a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOONE DAY MOOOOORE


End file.
